Close
On one Friday evening, during light chatter over a catch-up drink with friends, it dawned on me that there is a serious gender gap when it comes to self-promotion.
If you’ve ever been in a social meet, you will probably have observed that the way in which women and men contribute to the conversation differs in tone and content. As I sat through the catch-up drink, I couldn’t help but notice how confident, forward and strong the male participation was. The men talked in the first person, relaying what they had done in certain situations, and accentuating this with their experience and positions that gave them the expertise to do so.
In the process of narrating a story, most men are able to cleverly weave in their accomplishments, capabilities and experience. By the time they are done with their piece, the audience knows what they do and is impressed with what they have achieved. If the particular male narrator is a businessman, he will have acquired a number of willing clients by the end of the conversation. There are bound to be follow-up meetings and ensuing business from the casual discussion.
Women on the other hand are a lot more reserved in their participation. A woman will often speak in the third person, attributing her opinion to a ‘friend’ or ‘colleague’. She will give her opinion based on known facts, excluding her personal achievements that qualify that opinion. It is important that she keep the modesty that is expected of her gender. This is not the time or place to blow her own trumpet (according to her). It is thus unlikely that she will get follow-up enquiries resulting in new business.
A study by Havard Business School states that in the corporate world, men “rate their performance 33% higher than equally performing women” and get promoted for it. Ironically, growth by impression (rather than merit) has a place in our professional world. The unapologetically vocal ones are better placed to advance more than the qualified humble ones. There is something to be said for the undeniable fact that comes to light – visibility is key in advancement.
However, therein lies the challenge for women. There is a huge imperception that women are less ambitious, less competitive, and less hungry than their male equivalents, allowing them to foster the desirable feminine traits of humility, empathy and nurture. This is an imperception that is embedded deeply in the cultural spectrum. Therefore, in demonstrating traits of ambition and competitiveness through loudly vocalizing her achievements, a woman is very often negatively perceived in the corporate world (in contrast to her male counterpart with identical behavior).
BUT… In business, there really is no running away from self-promotion. If entrepreneurs do not engage in self-promotion, their businesses are bound to be sidelined not only within the marketplace, but from potential investors and partners as well. Yes, you guessed right – women entrepreneurs are not exempt. It is therefore crucial for any woman building a business to master the art of self-promotion.
The conundrum then stands. How does a woman undertake the much-required self-promotion without being accused of being too masculine and thus being antagonized? Is it a case of damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t?
As women, we still have a lot to learn in terms of marketing ourselves. We must turn the narrative. It is true that our traditional cultural disposition has contributed to the conservative approach we apply in our business interactions, but we need to be clever and self-market – learning how to celebrate our hard work without necessarily compromising our feminine position. The art of subtly spreading the word about our presence, capabilities and successes is imperative to our prosperity. Although it may be a tough ride, it’s definitely not an impossible one.
So ladies, let’s stand up and proudly but cleverly talk about what we do, what we have achieved, what we have built. Let’s gain that quiet confidence that allows us to share the value we’re giving to society through our work. Let’s do it with subtlety but precision and strength. Let’s get up and self-promote!
Marilyn Were-Mwangi
